Getting back to exercising. Making a difficult phone call. Scheduling a doctor's appointment. Eating better. Finally addressing something you've been avoiding.
These are all normal things that people want to do. They often know something needs to change, and they may even know what they need to do. But the friction of actually getting it done gets in the way, and implementation doesn't happen.
Are we choosing comfort over discomfort? Maybe sometimes. But even when we know the end result could be something desirable, we still don't do it.
Do we always know what we need to do? No, not exactly. But more often than not, I've found that we know a change needs to happen but have trouble executing it.
Maybe it's because there are real barriers: time, money, or health issues. And maybe it's because we can't close the gap between knowing and doing.
The Gap Between Intention and Action
I've spent over 20 years trying to understand why people get stuck and why it's so hard to change. But more importantly, I've spent those years learning how people get unstuck and make changes.
I've sat across from people in my work as a therapist in private practice, and I've experienced change in my own life through more than 20 years of recovery.
This isn't always a motivation problem. Sometimes, it's a gap between our intentions and our ability to execute them.
I became interested in a concept called the intention–behavior gap. What this describes is the gap between intending to do something and actually doing it.
There are lots of reasons why this gap might exist for some people. Maybe they don't have the time or resources. Maybe there's fear, anxiety, or doubt. Maybe they actually don't know what to do to close that gap.
And this is where people get stuck.
From Intention to Execution
Take, for example, somebody who has a heavy dinner.
It's been a long day. They're tired, and they probably skipped lunch because of their work schedule. They end up eating something they feel badly about.
Feelings of guilt come in. They feel badly about themselves and say, I need to eat better. Tomorrow's the day.
But what happens when they wake up?
It's not necessarily that they're unmotivated. Often, the opportunity to make the change isn't there because they've bypassed the planning stage.
And when planning hasn't happened, people resort to old habits.
This is, in many ways, the gap between someone's intention and how they execute it.
Now take that same person. They feel badly because they overate, and this has been an ongoing habit of theirs.
But this time, they go to the grocery store and plan for one healthier day. It doesn't have to be forever.
They buy foods that are nutritious, and when they wake up the next morning, those foods are there, within reach.
That closes some of the gap between intention and execution.
Now, maybe the day doesn't go swimmingly or perfectly, but it's better than the day before.
This is one example of how someone can begin to change. It's one step. You take one step, and those steps consistently add up, day after day.
That's how we begin to move from knowing what we need to do to actually doing it.
Taking Action Without Certainty
This doesn't mean you're going to feel confident or free of doubt. It means you've made a commitment to yourself.
Motivation can build when we do things repeatedly. We begin to trust ourselves more and more.
I often hear people say they have no motivation or that they want more confidence. These aren't experiences that can always be gained simply by thinking about them.
They're experiences and states of being that can result from taking action and showing yourself, step by step and day by day, that you can commit to something even if it's difficult.
This is where action can change one's mood and perspective.
Moving From Knowing to Doing
What's one thing you've been putting off?
Not ten things. Just one.
Focus on that one thing and consider the next step you can take to begin changing it.
That right there begins to close the gap between intention and execution.
You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to take that first step.
And please try to remember…
Knowing what to do isn't enough. You have to make it doable.